Yesterday night my husband came home from work very quiet. Jeremy is naturally a soft spoken and quiet person but I saw something different in his face.
He had been crying.
We sat down and I asked him what was wrong. He expressed his deep grief that he had been feeling and how he missed his baby girl Tanalee. He also said something that I felt was note worthy and bloggable.
He works out side at night and out of the blue a ladybug landed on his arm during work. He was in utter shock because here we are in near winter and a ladybug lands on his arm. It would be soo normal to see a moth flying around and perhaps land itself on a person. A LADYBUG landed on him!!!! Does that shock you? It shocked me.
Okay so if it wasn't already obvious we nicknamed Tanalee Ladybug because she was beautiful, cute, sweet, and simply perfect with a small beginning. The name stuck with her, even now. So a Ladybug landing on Jeremy last night was amazing and it brought back so many memories. It tore at his very soul because that was what our daughter stood for.
We both cried thinking back to life with her. How we miss her little feet and beaming eyes looking at us. She was a gift and a miracle. So in short it was a bitter sweet moment for him. He was graced with the presence of a ladybug again but this time it was a bug and not our baby. Just like the brief visit from the ladybug on Jeremy's arm, ladybug our Tanalee was here and then gone too soon.
Here is a poem that I changed to fit TanaLee:
(This poem was originally written about a butterfly)
A Ladybug lights beside us
like a sun beam and for a brief moment,
its glory and beauty belong to our world.
But then it flies on again
and though we wish it could have stayed,
we are so glad that we have seen it.
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