Genetic results and more questions of why?

I got a call today from genetics and found out that Jeremy carries the "Jag one" change that TanaLee had. Part of me was sad to hear this news but a part of me was relieved that we had a answer about what might be past on to our future children. But then came out more, they said that in their most recent findings of this genetic change it appears that it doesn't effect the body but that it is just there. Okay well our question is, why did Tanalee's liver fail? What is a cause? Could it have been prevented? Will this happen again?!

So back to square one, no real answers about what happened to our little girl and no promise of a better outcome for children to come. We are currently waiting on more tests, including a test on my cystic kidney results. So now we just wait, pray, and hope for a better ending to this madness we've been in. It doesn't help when you have family that doesn't support you even though you did everything you could for that child that died. Not to mention when they figure that everything that went wrong is some how your fault. Oh well, I will just have to look past today and focus on our future and my babies to come.

Which by the way, it seems wrong to me to think of having more babies. I mean its almost like people will think I didn't love TanaLee even though we all know I loved her more then anyone else on this planet...well my husbands right up there with her but still. I DO love her, very much. That is why I never missed a day of her life, I sacrificed my comfort, my job and my energy so that she always had the best. She may not have been able to live past 7 months and 3 days but heck I put a lot of everything into getting her there. I loved my ladybug!