Feeling a bit down today. I indulged in a Sweet Cake cupcake and bathed Savannah as she needed a good scrubb. Otherwise Im feeling kinda blah and lonely. I'm not even sure why...maybe its because I'm in "2ww" and I'm feeling like I'll get a BFN. (no symptoms yet...I have what I think might be symptoms but I really just think its all in my head...none of them last long.) Maybe its b/c I've been alone the last two days...not like that's out of the norm. I'm just in a funk and need a boost.
I hate to blog all about how depressed I am b/c this is not me to whine. I just have to vent today...
TTC is something I've been so hopeful with up until recently...its no longer full of hope. I continue to try b/c I want to have hope but its hard when you get that negative symbol month after month. I kinda regret waiting as long as I did to start TTC... its seems like when women TTC shortly after a birth or loss they conceive much quicker...hormones are higher I guess...well I waited 8 months after my loss to even consider TTC. So this is a tough subject for me. I think eventually I'll get that super boost again...I just need to remind myself that this is possible. Anyone TTC for months? Anyone ever feel as doubtful as I with TTC at this point? What was your experience? I'm looking for something that might give me a renewed hope... I want to hope again.
I guess i should calm down with this rant/depressing vent about how sad ive been today. Hopefully next time things will be happier. Hugs to you all.
2 comments:
It's a very frustrating and isolating process. With Max, it took two surgeries, a few months of pills, two IUIs and eventually an IVF cycle. It was almost two years of trying before we got a positive test. It's hard to get your hopes up every month, only to get disappointed every time. I know you have some health issues that might interfere, but have you seen a doctor about fertility related issues specifically? For me, I found a doctor that was hopeful for me, she was honest but was very blunt about just trying until we find what works. I always used to tell myself, ok each month is a new start. I tried not to look back on all the disappointments, just focus on what's in front of me. The fact that TanaLee was here, is by itself a reason to have hope. I was told my every doctor, if you have one baby- then that is the best indicator of your ability to have future children. It's super frustrating- there's no doubt about that- a lot of people have advice and they really know nothing about it. I would look for some blogs that relate to TTC, also find a doctor that can be a support to you, keep looking until you find someone who is willing to listen to you and involve you in the process. Hang in there! You know where to find me if you need anything!
We started trying just 6 weeks after Carleigh was born and it took us 9 months to conceive. I was often frustrated and disappointed every month it didn't happen. I was starting to think that something was wrong with me because it only took 1 month and 3 months to conceive my other daughters.
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