Baby buys and more

So I think I'll start off with the best thing to talk about and gradually go into the less happy topics.

Today hubs and I went to shop for some baby clothes since my "nesting" feeling has really begun to kick in...kinda early right? Well we scored some super cute stuff and saved about $20 bucks with an awesome sale and coupon combo! Ready to see what we got? Here is the mother load photo dump of my amazing deal. (Purchased at Carters Outlet)

As of right now the set of outfits in the middle are being considered for a coming home outfit. 

up-close of the cute bib that goes to the outfit of choice

Look at that whale! I love the bright blue color!

Hubs is supper proud & excited to show off his lil boy in this !

The fire truck shirt was a last minute find and I thought it looked cute with the cargo's.  

What's with me and the half obsessive monster clothes? Cute spot for a monster though!

The strongest contender for going home outfit out of the three piece set shown above.

Another good topic is my latest Dr. Appointment- well it depends how you see the world of glasses half full or empty. I'm gonna say my glass is half full. :)
So this last Wednesday I had an appointment that went something like this.

1. Ultrasound

2. Wait for "Dr." to come back in with the results of growth ultrasound

3. Panic due to Dr coming in saying we needed the V-scan instead of the normal belly "due to baby being in the breech position."

4. Wait long minutes as unprofessional, less experienced and might I add less than friendly tech scanned my uterus for extended measurements and views of my cervix and baby inside.

5. Tech leaves to retrieve Dr. - I have a melt down (Ugly cry, & blaming myself for a crappy body) because the tech wasn't saying much and for what I could see she was having difficulty getting her images and fluid didn't appear to be abundant.

6. Dr comes in and says in the most reassuring way that he can, our scan today is not so perfect but that everything is fine. The baby appears to be in the 50 something % (which i'm told is good) but with less fluid levels then they would like...not dangerously low but less than expected at that point (22 wks).

7. Even with assurances from the Ultrasound Dr that we are okay...I leave feeling like he's lying to me or something because he was sending us to see a geneticist we've been "working" with.

8. Meet with our geneticist to talk about results- she quickly dismisses any concern from scan and tells us that really we have no need to worry at this point. She tells me that my doctor, who I do agree would tell me if there was reason for alarm, just said the scan looked great and that there was nothing to stress over.

9. I have one last outburst in tears, talking about how much I need this baby and I have to do something to keep him thriving. How I have just really started to enjoy this pregnancy and then the crap hits the fan.

10. My OB comes in and like the others tells me that she would never be so ridiculous and act like this baby was in danger unless there was a real reason. She was even confident enough to add that she feels Joshua is really thriving and that I have done everything right to give this baby the best chances. She even went as far as to say, " I cannot predict the future, but I believe you'll make it beyond your 25 week mark". After much talk I finally started to relax and just give my heart a rest.  We finish the appointment with topics of normal procedure for a planned c-section, me needing to work out more and lastly that she would like to see me in another two weeks. We walk out feeling a little more at ease and go home with a half smile on our face.

The most ugly truth to talk about-

TanaLee is 3! I can't believe she's 3... November 13th came and went and I feel a bit unsure about it.
For starters, I have a toddler yet don't have one. Don't have a clue as to what it would be really like to have one.
 I'm pregnant with her brother and have the weirdest feeling going through this month...passing the 13th and still being pregnant and then coming to the conclusion that I am two days from being 23 weeks- two weeks difference of when I had TanaLee. It all just feels so unreal. My firstborn has been away and out of my aching arms for far too long and I am about to see the same point I was in for pregnancy with her. The farthest I have ever made it feeling baby kicks and all. I am so grateful for Joshua and want him with all of my being. I love the little person he is becoming. I'm learning his sleep schedule and changing everyday my likes and dislikes in his name. (hormones lol :) ) Is it wrong that I desire her still? I'm jealous of what I don't have...I have yet to have a living baby with me at home. This pregnancy is no guarantee of a baby healthy in my arms and yet I still LONG for that promise. These emotions so powerful and leave me kneeling in prayer and thought often. Let's just hope the best right? Wish it were that simple huh?

We eternally love both our children- Forever and ever our love wraps them in tight. Happy times ahead- just one step at a time, one foot before the other and at the end is our hope of a rainbow.