I have been stuck in this crap place for too long. Yesterday I was feeling the desperate need to feel needed, wanted. I took it so far as the pet store hoping to fall in love with anything and take it home. I held a ferret and as soon as its little fangs touched my skin I handed it back and said, "Savannah would chase this thing looking for the darn squeaker." I even looked at snakes- NOT that I want one but just to pass time I think?. This TTC business is rough on the brain. I lost it when red showed up. I'm just TIRED. I want that beautiful relationship with MY child. Not looking at some other mother who is HAPPY to hand over her precious goods for a few minutes so she can rest...then handing the baby back cause it doesn't like my glasses or something...for mom to cuddle and calm her child-the right thing to do but it breaks my sad heart that I don't have that too. I kinda am tired of acting like I'm happy all the time.
Saving up for that monitor....so stinkn expensive- I mean if it works it will be so worth it...but to front sooo much money at once is crazy.
Well in change of subject I've been thinking of you all and hope good things for you. I really try to comment when I can. Which brings me to my question, do ya'll still read from me? I haven't heard hardly a peep from you all...I've got 44 all "watching" but might have one comment or none at all. Not that this is the only thing that matters but we can all say that having that extra support on the other end of our blogs help with the coping process. Let me know how you all are and ask me anything.
One thing I thought I'd mention- If you are wondering or noticed that the email attached to this blog is a "Jeremy"....That would be my husbands email, he set this blog up for me back when we were with TanaLee in Seattle, WA. So In other words I won't get your emails via the one attached to this blog. I love feedback and am always here for support in return. Sending hope your way- hope for some baby dust in mine. tootles.
5 comments:
I read all your posts and am glad you are writing more again. I was wondering how you were. I don't comment much, I am just super busy with work and kids. I am definitely sending baby dust your way....
I read. I hope for you.
Re: Ferrets, my mom told me once they aren't good with young kids around bc they will bit their veins or something. yikes.
Still read but don't comment as much anymore b/c of time.
XO
Hello love <3 thank you for all your comments. I have been M.I.A. I know :( life got busy...still is. I'm hoping to make time for blogging more often than I have and I will try to comment as much as I can. Sending baby dust your way. Miss you. I'll send you an email soon. It's late now though so I'm going to bed. Talk to you soon!
You are the only blog that I read. When you were not blogging and missed you. I thought of often and wondered how you are doing...
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